


Apple

by redbluebox



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Voyeurism, as slow burn as a one shot can be?, but the longest one shot you'll ever read, the title has nothing to do with the story smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 02:13:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14250870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redbluebox/pseuds/redbluebox
Summary: Sebastian agrees to share his room for the summer with a quiet kid who's coming to stay. Unfortunately, Ciel turns out to be much more than just a minor distraction.





	Apple

The first time Sebastian meets Ciel, he thinks he’s nothing special.

Tiny slip of a kid, his huge black sweatpants barely hanging onto his frame. He’s wearing a striped vest top, clinging to his skin, the circular U of its neck much too low for a kid, far too low for a boy. He’s carrying a bag near overflowing with clothes and books, and he has a surgical white eyepatch covering up a quarter of his face. It rucks up some strands of slate blue hair, a colour that Sebastian hardly believes can be natural, and a blue eye so bright and big it’s almost daunting to look into. An odd kid.

“This is Ciel Phantomhive. Ciel, this is Sebastian.” Sebastian’s mother supplies.  
“Nice to meet you.” He holds out a hand to the boy. It’s more of a hold down, because Ciel can’t be more than 5’2”, and Sebastian’s always been tall for his age.  
“Likewise. Thank you for having me, Mrs Michaelis. Sebastian.”

-

Before Ciel arrived it was agreed that he would stay for just over 2 months. The bed in Sebastian’s room has been set up.

Sebastian wasn’t pleased to start with. Under normal circumstances, Sebastian would never have to have met Ciel at all, and he didn’t see why he had to now; the boy is his mother’s friend’s sister’s stepson, practically a stranger. His mother pleaded, trying to whittle him down, finally admitting that Ciel’s family would pay them for the trouble and they needed the cash. After hearing that, Sebastian agreed in a second. The deep grooves in his mother’s face seemed to loosen slightly.

He had tried to think positively. He’d had his cousin Bardroy stay for a month or so in his room before, and that was fun. Sebastian convinced himself that Ciel would just be like a slightly younger version of Bard, but less familiar.

Sebastian’s mother remarks on the luck of having room for Ciel to come and stay, and skirts around the reasons why. Neither she or Sebastian have been told why the kid’s been kicked out for the summer, and he assumes that’s probably why they’re the only ones willing to take him. Sebastian hasn't been told how much his mother is being paid, but he’s assuming it’s more than would be enough.

Ciel seems very polite as they eat dinner together, and Sebastian immediately likes him, despite his mismatched and dishevelled appearance. It’s hard not to when a 13-year-old is so prim and proper.

-

The boy spends all his time after supper unpacking clothing and lining up books along the wall. Sebastian pretends to mess around with his phone, but really he’s watching Ciel, amused, as he does everything with the precision and care of a surgeon. The novels he pulls out are chunky and at least two are in foreign languages.

“You speak French?” Sebastian asks, flopping over from the side of his bed and going to look. He wonders what the books are about. Two years of French classes as a kid aren't contributing anything towards helping him to decipher the titles, so he just has to hope that it’s not hardcore porn or anything inappropriate for someone so small and young.  
Ciel startles.  
“Do you?” He's leaning towards the French books carefully, a fond look flitting across his face as he glances at their thick bindings.  
Sebastian laughs, mostly at the suggestion but also at how protective the kid is. “No, I wish. You do, presumably?”  
“Yes, I speak French. I’m learning German and Latin too, but Latin’s only for church.”  
Sebastian bites his tongue at the mention of religion and smiles. “A linguist, huh?”  
“I’d like to be.” Ciel grins, a bit shy. It’s surprisingly genuine.

Later that night, when Ciel is softly breathing on the other side of the room, Sebastian lies awake. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees a faint imprint of the boy’s smiling face, pretty lips on a pretty face and below pretty eyelashes. He pushes it aside.

-

Sebastian does his best to include the kid, make him feel welcome. He figures any kind of charm he usually uses on girls should put Ciel at ease, with loose smiles and friendly tones, but Ciel is so damn shy that he just nods politely and goes back to reading his books. 

And it annoys Sebastian as much as it intrigues him. Their first few days together are spent with him desperately trying to interest the boy, failing miserably, and trying harder.

On the third day, Ciel agrees to walk down to the shops with him to buy groceries. He changes from the baggy could-be-pyjamas-but-he-only-wears-them-in-the-day clothes he’s been living in, into the same striped vest top and the sweatpants he arrived in. Sebastian doesn’t think he remembers the top being quite so tight or his hips being quite so prominent. 

As they walk Sebastian rambles on about anything he can think of, trying to sound intelligent enough to keep Ciel interested. The boy listens in near silence, only stopping to interject when he has a genuinely good point to make about whatever nonsense Sebastian lets out of his mouth. By the time they reach the shops, he feels severely outsmarted by Ciel and pretty impressed.

Sebastian carries the bags whilst Ciel holds the shopping list and collects the items. Sebastian is suddenly very glad for working out sometimes, because somehow looking strong in front of this serious, unexciting kid feels important to him. 

It all comes to a sudden unexpected realisation when Ciel drops the pen he’s been using to cross items off of the list. He lets out a small ‘oh’ and drops down to his hands and knees to search under the shelves for it. Sebastian watches in silent fascination as the boy’s stupid striped shirt slides a little up that tiny waist, revealing one band of smooth creamy skin. The position pushes his ass out and up. Instead of looking away like he knows he should, Sebastian can’t tear his eyes away, especially when the base of his stomach stirs with heat and tightness.

When Ciel finds the pen, far to the back and dusty, he looks up to a decidedly flustered and rather horrified Sebastian.

-

From then on it slowly turns to hell. That evening, Sebastian drags an old changing screen between them, hoping that if he can’t see the boy all the time then the feelings will fade away. If Ciel is confused by the sudden barrier of blue material and wood, he doesn’t show it. Rather, he just returns back into his cocoon of books, baggy clothes and silence. It barely works; Sebastian can see Ciel through the gaps in the material and wood. He deems it terrible at what it’s supposed to do. 

Sebastian’s mother is disappointed. She leaves them alone, but Sebastian can tell she wanted them to be friends as much as he did, despite the age gap. 

That night Sebastian lies awake for as long as he can, his brain buzzing. When he sleeps, he dreams of a pretty face and a delicate waist. When a slip of skin is shown once more, Sebastian wakes up and stays with his eyes open for as long as possible.

He’s woken after a final, relieving stretch of dreamlessness by Ciel’s hand on his. It’s late in the morning and time to eat, the boy is saying, but all Sebastian can focus on is the push of lithe fingertips. The contact is scalding and unpleasant, but the second Sebastian pushes the hand away he starts to regret it. His skin tingles and chills in its absence. This time, Ciel does look disappointed, just for a second, and then his face closes off again and he whirls away. Sebastian stays in his bed, exhausted and confused, for the next few minutes before his mother shouts at him to come and have breakfast with them before she leaves for her shift at work.

-

The heat of summer finally strikes. Granted, it is an English summer, but their house isn’t air-conditioned and so it becomes a cycle of ice packs and positions of stillness on the ground. Ciel sits beneath the window to read and Sebastian cannot help but sneak glances through the changing screen as the boy press packages of ice to his neck, his cheeks, his collarbones, his wrists. It leaves damp beads of condensation on Ciel’s pale skin. Whenever Sebastian succumbs to the heat and goes into a daze of almost-sleep whilst watching Ciel, he dreams of pressing his lips to the places the ice pack has graced, wet smoothness beneath his tongue. When he wakes up, he is always half-hard and Ciel is usually unmoved.

Ciel’s clothes start to disappear along with Sebastian’s morals. He spends most of his days in the littlest shorts, the hem sneaking up to reveal petite thighs at the front and the rounding of flesh at the back. His shirts, as if to make up for the scandal of his lower half, are always ridiculously large. The collars of those things slip and slide over either shoulder, baring acres of unmarred skin. _Underage,_ Sebastian reminds himself, _and male._

When he sleeps, it’s entirely filled with Ciel. Sometimes he wakes up so turned on he doesn’t know what to do besides stumble off to the bathroom, his body screaming for him to go to the other side of his room instead. Sometimes he wakes up achingly happy, tears starring his exhausted eyes when he realises it was only a dream.

He tries to study, but every dot of an I is an iris the colour of a cerulean ocean and every sentence he underlines or highlights is a delicate collarbone. The room smells like Ciel, apples and sweetness and rain and _underage boy_ , Sebastian thinks sternly to himself. The message - the warning - never seems to fully sink in.

He stops talking to Ciel. Stops looking at him. Ignores him. He sleeps less, only eats when his mother and Ciel have finished, and often forgets to get food at all. The hunger he experiences when he reaches the next morning mingles with the want he feels for the boy across the room from him, the gentle flip of a page a constant reminder that he’s still there.

-

Sebastian’s mother forces them outside together on one of the cooler days, to deliver some kind of donation to the town hall. Sebastian’s mouth is too dry to say anything to Ciel, his heartbeat skittering to pump lust and anxiety through his veins. So this time Ciel makes conversation, and the sound of his neat, pretty accent and light voice makes Sebastian’s chest hurt and a wobbling, reluctant grin force its way onto his lips.

“Shall I tell you something? You look so different when you sleep. When you’re awake you’re always tense, like something bad’s going to happen, but asleep you look elated. You smile more often than not. Did you know?” Ciel beams up at Sebastian, still shy, but more familiar now. Sebastian’s mind reels.  
“You watch me sleep?’ Sebastian chokes, his voice tight. His weary thoughts explode into a confusing mix of happiness and worry. Ciel’s cheeks burn pink.  
“Ah, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again - I didn’t mean to offend you. Only in the day, if you doze off - just in passing - ’’  
_He’s scared of me._ Sebastian realises miserably. _He thinks I hate him._  
“It’s fine.” Sebastian manages a tense grin. “I don’t mind. It - it’s sweet of you.”

-

On the way back home, they pass a giant apple tree, its leaves a healthy green. A mostly-dried stream trickles beside it. Ciel is delighted, or the most delighted Sebastian’s seen him, at the sight of a collection of ribbons and brightly coloured strings tied from its lower branches.

“Oh, that’s so pretty. Is it a tradition? We never get those in the city.”  
Sebastian has never stopped to think about the ribbons people tie on the branches. It’s always been a constant. But he sees the bright interest in Ciel’s eye and so he answers the best he can.  
“I think so. Ribbons are tied on special trees near spiritual sites, as an offering, or something.”  
Ciel laughs. “My father was right, this area does have a remaining of its pagan heritage left.”  
“Ah, does that bother you? You’re religious, aren’t you?”  
Shrugging, Ciel touches one of the lower branches. “No, I think it’s beautiful. There are so many colours - wait.” He looks around him, up and down, before lifting up his loose shirt to reveal a flat navel. Sebastian flinches away from the view, blanching, but Ciel only has eyes for the raggedy ribbon tied at the top of his shorts. It dawns on Sebastian that the kid has threaded the tying through himself; the shorts must be too large at the waist otherwise. 

“Sebastian, can you find a free branch?”  
“What?” It comes out harsher than intended, and Ciel’s enthusiasm visibly shrinks for a moment. Sebastian bites back an eager apology and continues in a softer tone. “A branch?”  
“Yes, I want to join in. So I need tie this somewhere.”

They search for a few moments, but all the lower branches are stuffed full of ribbons to the point that they’d have to untie other offerings to fit Ciel’s somewhere. Ciel is tempted to do just that until Sebastian tells him that it’s bad luck to remove them, at which point he backs off from that idea fairly sharpish. The only suitable branch they can find is a little above Sebastian’s head, much too high for Ciel.  
“I can tie it for you.” Sebastian offers, nervousness flooding his tone for some reason. He swallows, hoping Ciel doesn’t notice, his fingers shaking with excitement for having an excuse to break his silence so many times so quickly.  
“No, I want to do it myself.” Stubbornly, Ciel tries to reach, but he can barely touch the intended branch for longer than a split second. 

“Can you lift me?”

Sebastian finds himself moving to do so before it sinks in. He pauses, his willingness spluttering out.  
“You want me to lift you?”  
“Yes, just for a second. Don’t look so disgusted.”  
“I’m not - look, I’ll do it.”  
Ciel smiles all sweet and turns to face the right direction. Sebastian’s body is trembling from adrenaline, lack of sleep and excitement, and his brain can barely construct a sensible thought. How does Ciel want to be picked up? Bridal style wouldn’t get him far enough. Hands on his waist would surely snap him in half. He doesn’t think he can bear to do something ridiculous like piggybacking, not with Ciel. Not something so childish. 

“Well?” Ciel prompts gently, the shabby ribbon pooled between his hands. Sebastian lurches forward, slides an arm beneath the thighs that have haunted his dreams for the past two and a half weeks, and places the other hand on the waist that started his ordeal. He holds Ciel’s little hips at his shoulder height, and the boy leans forward, ties the ribbon around the branch swiftly, and falls back against Sebastian. The scent of Ciel so close has Sebastian feeling stupidly dizzy, the real feeling of that body in his arms and hands so unbelievable Sebastian is sure that he has fallen asleep again and is dreaming. 

-

There is no hope of salvation. There wasn’t much more before the tree, but this has finalised it. Sebastian’s sleep is dreamless that night, but he still wakes up tired and aching. When he dreams of Ciel later that afternoon, it’s the same, but he’s so deliriously happy for that split second before he regains his memories that it makes all the fatigue that follows worth it.

The next day Sebastian tells Ciel that he and his mother are heading out, just to see if Ciel reacts, or wants to come. He doesn’t. He just nods and goes off to take a shower. 

Sebastian’s mother pulls him aside before they can leave the house, obviously concerned. She laments that Sebastian’s skin has turned to ash, his eyes ringed with black, and he looks totally listless. She doesn't mention the desperate, hungry look he sees in himself every time he passes a mirror, but he doesn’t know if that’s because she doesn’t want to or because it’s only him that sees the ravenous demeanour about him.

“Is it Ciel? Listen, if he’s giving you this much grief, we can send him away.”

She doesn’t want to do that. She loves him somewhat like a nephew, Sebastian can see it, and they get on fantastically. And he wants nothing more than for Ciel to leave, so he can forget him, get him out of his mind, go back to dating pretty 17-year-old girls with half a brain that don’t make him feel an ounce of emotion. Sebastian wants Ciel to go almost, almost as much as he desperately needs him to stay in their house.

“No. Ciel’s perfect. I… Ciel’s fine. It’s fine.”  
“Are you sure?” She’s worried. Sebastian must not look convincing enough.  
“Please, let him stay.” Sebastian swallows, because his words are drenched in anguish and craving. It sounds so obvious to his ears, like every word he says is just a groan of ‘Ciel’. He feels so pent up and useless it might as well be, for all the good it would do.

-

He doesn't feel like going out. It was a bad idea, a mistake, to try and stray from Ciel’s vicinity for too long. Sebastian apologises, asks her to go shopping without him. He can’t face spending time alone with his absent-minded mother if even she noticed his change in mood. The return to his bedroom is miserable.

Halfway up the stairs, he pauses. The sound of Ciel hurrying back to their room from the bathroom is loud and panicked. The door is slammed, leaving Sebastian to climb the rest of the stairs and stand awkwardly in the corridor. He becomes aware of the noise of the lock being shifted closed. _Well, fair, he’s getting changed,_ Sebastian reasons, until he realises it sounds like Ciel’s crying behind the door. Sebastian presses his ear to the wood, tries to hear if it’s something he should be worried about. When no noise follows, he goes to leave, as Ciel is fresh out of the shower, and Sebastian doesn’t want to be too near him when very underdressed.

Then he hears the boy make a sound like a moan. Sebastian stops, stills, unsure that that can really be what he heard. It happens again and Sebastian very slowly shifts closer to the door. Ciel gasps, and moans once more.

That’s all it takes. Sebastian is turned on and biting at his thumb to stop himself from panting and crying out to Ciel like some kind of horny dog. He is equal parts disgusted with himself and too far gone to care; the mental image of Ciel’s slim back and the way his body moves is more than enough to work him into feverishness, and that’s always before been without those noises he’s making and the sighs and keens every few seconds to add to the picture. Sebastian can feel his heartbeat in his fingertips when he presses them against his groin to try and calm himself down, to no avail - he’s feeling so much frustration and arousal that it’s impossible to ignore it. 

He wants to commit the way Ciel sounds to memory. It’s faint and muffled and utterly unbelievable. Sebastian doesn’t dare move as he listens, terrified beyond all reason that Ciel will notice him leaning against the door. It’s over all too quickly; Ciel cries and gasps and moans and then he stops altogether. Sebastian stands totally still, hearing fixed on the boy as his youthful lungs spasm for air and his breathing shakes.

Sebastian only leaves, still pitifully and achingly hard, once Ciel’s breaths have been steady for long enough. He takes an impromptu shower that lasts for much longer it usually should.

-

And then there is nothing besides the ethereal noises that left Ciel’s lips. Sebastian can’t even look at his face without a stirring in his groin, and hides this problem by doing everything possible to avoid looking at Ciel. In the nighttime his thoughts become a broken record of _Ciel’s just a few metres away Ciel’s just a few metres away Ciel’s just a_

until morning. The second Ciel leaves to eat, usually almost precisely at 7 am, Sebastian will fall into a deep and colourful dream with pretty pink lips and messy slate hair, the feeling of eyepatch gauze against Sebastian’s cheek and mouth and hip. 

“Do you ever sleep?” Ciel asks one night, late enough that the moon shines through their window. Sebastian can’t remember if he’s responsible for closing the curtains or if Ciel is. He decides that it’s probably him.  
“Not at night,” Sebastian answers honestly.  
“Why?”  
Sebastian doesn’t give himself a chance to answer at all then.

The heat drags on as well, although not so aggressive as it was. It makes Ciel more restless at night, all that still, dry air, and once he finds out that Sebastian isn’t often asleep he starts pacing, reading, studying. He yawns like a cat and it makes Sebastian yawn too, enough to make his tired eyes sting.

-

Ciel becomes a night person as well. Sebastian’s mother is often doing overnight shifts at work, so they don’t need to be quiet. Even so, he still whispers softly to Sebastian across the room when he has something to say. Sebastian only answers sometimes; others he’s so desperate at the thought of Ciel close by that a whisper from the boy is torturous. 

“Where’s your dad?”  
“I don’t know. He left.” Sebastian grinds out through gritted teeth. Ciel is always sad when Sebastian answers so bluntly, so rudely, so obviously annoyed. He tries to hide it, but Sebastian is always so focused on everything that Ciel does that he can tell even from the way he moves around the room in the morning what his emotions are like.  
“I’m sorry.” Ciel really does sound sorry. “At least you have Mrs Michaelis left, and she’s so lovely. And your father is a fool for leaving behind a wife and a child like you two.”  
Sebastian bites his lip. That one sentence means more to him than his father ever has, he notes, and he’s past the point of agonising over why he feels that way over even Ciel’s simplest words. He just accepts it, the flip of joy his stomach does, the sickening warmth of happiness in his chest.

“Thanks, kid.”

Ciel dislikes being called ‘kid’. It annoys him. Sebastian likes calling him that, mainly because an annoyed Ciel leaves him alone, but also because it reminds him of Ciel’s status to him. They’ve spent a month together, and he still flinches every time someone mentions Ciel’s age.

“Why don’t you ask me any questions?”  
“I don’t want to know about you.” Sebastian does want to know. He can hardly bear to lie to Ciel, to crush any hopes of even a friendship with the boy. He thinks he probably needs to, to remain sane.  
“…Hmph, there must be _something_ you want to know. Ask me a question.”  
Ciel could ask him to jump off of the roof and Sebastian probably wouldn’t question it before doing it. The words are out of his mouth before he can think about it.  
“Why did your parents send you to us?”  
Ciel is silent for a second, and then he gets out of bed. Shuffles past the changing screen awkwardly, so they can see each other. He turns to Sebastian, wearing nothing besides a ratty t-shirt and some boxer shorts, and sits down on the floor near to Sebastian’s bed. They stare at each other for a moment, Sebastian’s heart in his throat and desire clouding his mind. Then Ciel speaks, nervous, slow.

“I have a twin brother. He’s older and healthier. He has an ideal Christian girlfriend - Lizzy.” He says Lizzy like it’s a kind of prayer. Sebastian thinks he’ll be sick for a second, because the way he says Lizzy is the same way he hears himself saying Ciel’s name, and the jealousy that hits him is like a punch to the stomach. He physically has to focus on breathing for a moment. It comes as a relief to realise that Ciel’s anxious enough that he barely seems to notice Sebastian’s horror.  
“Why’s that an issue?” Sebastian asks.  
Ciel smiles. “Well, I don’t have a girlfriend. And I’m younger and smaller.”  
Sebastian manages a smile in return. “Well, spending time with us won’t make you taller.”  
He doesn’t mention the girlfriend part. He doesn’t want Ciel to get a girlfriend. _Ciel’s too young,_ Sebastian decides firmly, knowing that if Ciel wanted him then age would go out of the window.  
“It’s not the height that’s an issue. I told them - rudely - that I don’t want a _girl_ friend. I said I don’t think that I’ll ever want one.”

Sebastian’s brain doesn’t work for an instant. Nothing does - he thinks even his heart stops. He stares at Ciel’s face blankly, looking the anxious tilt of that shiny mouth, the scrunch of his small nose, the way his eyebrows push down into the middle of his forehead. How his eye, the circle of blue despair that has been pulling Sebastian in, won’t look up. He sees it without seeing, and then it clicks.

“Oh. _Oh_.” Sebastian breathes. He tries not to let the smile creep onto his face. It does anyway, so wide it hurts and so genuine he can barely believe he’s spent a month in misery and despair. Ciel doesn’t even seem to see; he’s staring at his legs.  
“Yeah. They didn’t like that.” Ciel says wryly. “Lizzy’s our best friend, they always figured one of the two twins would date her. They’re just upset that I don’t want to date someone either, and annoyed and worried that I’ll turn out gay. They think it’s living in the city that’s turning me, all those liberal modern people running around in one space…”

Sebastian’s entire body trembles. He opens his shaking mouth to say something, his tongue dry, but nothing comes out. His brain is buzzing, his limbs light and twitching and made of air. _I won’t, I can’t, I won’t do anything to him, it doesn’t matter, ignore it, even if he is_ his mind throws out at him, but Sebastian can’t shake the genuine elation that causes even his voice to oscillate wildly.

“Being gay is fine. Natural. Even if you were. But you’re 13, you shouldn't have to date yet if you don’t want to.”  
“Tell my parents that.” Ciel says, but he smiles a little, at Sebastian. Then frowns. “Oh, but if you’re worried that I’m gay, I can ask your mother about sleeping on the landing or someth - ”

Sebastian has never heard a more fervent dismissal leave his mouth.

-

He throws up in the bathroom the next morning. He figures it’s a mix of lack of sleep, odd eating schedules and excitement. When Sebastian sees himself in the mirror, his face is a stranger to him; thin, pale, gaunt cheekbones and blood red eyes outlined by black rings. He looks fucking terrifying. Ciel walks past the ajar door, notices Sebastian’s appearance, and doubles back.

“My god, are you alright?”  
“Fine.” Sebastian croaks. “Feel fine now.”  
Ciel flushes the vomit down the toilet and gets Sebastian a glass of water. When Sebastian has swilled his mouth and drunken some, Ciel places a hand on Sebastian’s arm. He barely manages not to choke on his water.  
“Thanks for last night. Look, I know you don’t like me, but you were really kind. It made me feel - better. Thanks.” Ciel is blushing, awkward and uncomfortable. Sebastian’s skin throbs where Ciel touches him, his head spinning and dizzy from both the compliment and the massive misunderstanding.  
“No problem, but Ciel, I don’t - ’’  
Ciel smiles and opens his mouth, and Sebastian stops talking. When Ciel speaks it feels like the universe stops to listen to him, bringing Sebastian with it.  
“It’s okay, Sebastian, I’m fine with it.”  
_Don’t be fine with it, I wouldn’t be fine with it, I’m not fine with it,_ Sebastian thinks frantically. His mouth hangs open, trying to put it into words that won’t draw Ciel in too much and make something possible, but Ciel leaves too quickly.

-

“Ciel’s been with us for just over a month.” Sebastian’s mother starts. She sounds both pleased and sad. 

Sebastian’s foot touches Ciel’s under the table, accidentally. He jumps back as if he’s been scalded. Ciel stares at him for a moment and then giggles. Sebastian just about melts on his chair.

“Are you finding it okay, Ciel?” she prompts, beaming at the two boys. Guilt hits Sebastian in another wave, as it does whenever he remembers who Ciel is, and all the reasons why he shouldn’t do anything to the boy. Just being in the same room as him feels like a crime.

“I’m really happy, thank you. I honestly feel like the time I've spent with you both has been wonderful.”

When Sebastian looks at the pale pink-red spot on the wall from where the white coat of paint this time flaked off, he can see Ciel from the corner of his eye. The boy seems too good to be human from that blurred angle; cream for skin, a sapphire for an eye. And of course an unwanted pining fool for a roommate. Sebastian bites his lip hard enough to bruise to try and distract himself from the object of his desires sitting opposite him. 

-

His mother practically forces him out of the house into the hot summer streets when his friends appear at the door, annoyance and concern battling for dominance in their expressions. She makes up an excuse about sickness and business with doing things for her as to why he hasn’t contacted them properly or seen then in about a month, but she’s looking at him with the glint in her eyes that Sebastian recognises means ‘we’re talking about this later’. 

Sebastian feels a kind of relief from seeing people besides Ciel and his mother, but it makes him long to be at home in that room with Ciel even more. The second Agni asks how the boy staying in his bedroom has been to live with, the mix of emotions Sebastian’s feeling hit a peak.

“Ciel? Ciel’s great. He’s really intelligent, so he’s mostly very quiet, but he loves talking about certain subjects. He has books in French, he’s learning Latin and German as well, so he sometimes talks in French with his twin brother when he calls. It’s beautiful to hear, really, Ciel has a lovely accent when he speaks - and when he gets excited about something he does this thing with his hair…”

He trails off when he registers that his friends are either uninterested or very bemused as to why Sebastian is so animated all of a sudden. Agni, ever perceptive, is looking at him with a kind of horrified dawning realisation, so Sebastian forces a grin and lies through his teeth.

“…I guess it’s like having a brother, or a kid cousin.”

-

When he gets back home, and sees Ciel again, Sebastian is reminded of a hot day in school a few years ago when he forgot to bring any water with him for the whole long day. The feeling of cold liquid on his lips after that was blissful. So he drinks in the sight of Ciel curled up by the window, petite frame folded around one of Sebastian’s mother’s more academic books, a bag of sweets at his hip. He barely acknowledges Sebastian’s entrance, just turns a page and smiles briefly at him. 

“What are you reading?” Sebastian says, although he already knows.  
Ciel looks up again in surprise, since it’s been at least a few weeks since Sebastian last tried to make conversation. His cheeks are stained with a light flush from the heat, mouth parted, a hardboiled sweet held carefully between his wet tongue and white teeth. Sebastian then recalls that time is still moving and he’s just blankly staring at Ciel’s lips and blinks rapidly, blurring the boy into a few smudges of blue, pink and white.  
“It’s your mum’s book, really.” Ciel holds out the cover for Sebastian to read. After he’s done, Sebastian reaches into Ciel’s bag of sweets and takes one for himself. The sticky, sweet smell of apple candy that hangs around Ciel makes him hungry.

“Was it fun with your friends?”  
Sebastian shrugs, rests his head against the wall, and shatters the sweet with his teeth. Hard shards of apple flavoured sugar graze his tongue.  
“What are they like?”  
“They’re not you.” Sebastian says emphatically, and regrets it, because it sounds so obviously infatuated and desperate and obsessive. Then he notices the hurt in Ciel’s expression and realises he’s taken it completely the other way.  
“Well, I would expect so,” Ciel replies tersely, voice vexed and tight. “They’re _your_ friends after all.”  
Sebastian flinches like Ciel’s just stung him. “What do you mean?”  
Ciel stares at him in infuriation for a second before getting up and rushing out of the room without a glance back. Sebastian watches him go, and then takes another sweet.

-

They don’t speak for the rest of the day. Ciel seems to already be asleep when Sebastian comes in, so ignoring the irritation he hoped to dispel at this point towards both himself and Ciel for their tense interaction, Sebastian changes and gets into bed. He faces the wall, and falls asleep almost immediately.

At around midnight, Ciel wakes up with a scream and pants and gasps until Sebastian stirs as well.

“Ciel? What’s happening?”  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I had a nightmare.” Ciel chokes out. Sebastian is out of his bed and beside Ciel’s in a heartbeat, kneeling on the floor in front of him. The boy is crying, huddled at the end of his bed, hair ruffled and visible eye wild. His tears are glistening, dripping down pale cheeks and a delicate jaw, and Sebastian has the unfamiliar urge to touch them. He doesn’t have the restraint to stop his thumb from tracing a line over Ciel’s high cheekbones, smudging the tears with it, and Ciel presses his face against Sebastian’s hand and cries. _He just wants human contact, we all do,_ Sebastian firmly tells himself when his heart predictably picks up pace and his breath catches. Ciel sobs slightly, and sniffs and gasps to try and regain composure. Unsure of when to let go of the boy’s damp, hot cheek and sure that left unchecked he’d just leave his hand there forever, he moves to take a tissue and brushes at the tears like that instead.

“What happened?”  
Ciel shakes his head, sucks in a breath. “My mum being killed again.”  
“Oh.” Sebastian’s mother told him that Ciel’s had passed away, but he assumed for some reason it had been something painless and long enough ago that Ciel wouldn’t remember. ‘I’m so sorry, Ciel.’  
“Don’t - you didn’t - ’’ Ciel chokes back a sob. “I don’t want to…”  
“It’s okay, um…” Sebastian shifts, and looks up at him in the eye. “You don’t have to say anything. It’s fine, just focus on calming down…”

The boy watches Sebastian with a glazed, unfocused look, and then leans away from Sebastian and grasps at his little chest until his loose shirt bunches up in his hands. 

“Can you stay with me for a while? By my bed?”

Sebastian is surprised when his heart doesn’t break into pieces at that. He’s more surprised when he notices the absence of the endless arousal that follows him constantly when Ciel’s nearby; all he feels is sadness and a deep, aching emptiness in his torso at the sight of the boy’s misery and fear. He nods, tries not to cry, and clenches the sheets between a fist to stop himself from reaching for Ciel once more.

-

When Sebastian’s mother comes to check on them the next morning, she finds Ciel sleeping crumpled up on sheets and pillows, his head tilted towards where Sebastian sits slumped over the edge of the bed, still kneeling. Sebastian’s arm reaches out towards Ciel’s slumbering form, his own body unconscious and tensed. 

She leaves them be.

When Sebastian wakes, he stumbles away from Ciel’s side and backs out of the room as quickly as possible. Ciel calls out to him, but Sebastian doesn’t think he can look at him without breaking composure. By the time he has collected himself and returned, Ciel is already gone.

-

He’s gone, and gone, and still gone. Sebastian’s mother says it’s ‘so out of character for him’, becomes more and more distressed, discusses filing a missing person report. Sebastian can’t stop his brain from worrying, thinking about all the places that Ciel could get in trouble, all the dangerous choices he could make, all the people that could try and take advantage of his innocence and hurt him.

_He has one of those people in his own room._

The thought doesn’t leave Sebastian’s mind after that, biting into his growing fears and twisting his concerns into hatred at himself. He’s exactly the kind of person that he wants to shield Ciel from, and he’s such a damn fucking _creep_ for wanting Ciel all to himself. If Ciel was leaving to get away from him, through shame or just from horror over Sebastian’s proximity and closeness in the morning, then Sebastian shouldn’t and couldn’t have stopped him even if he’d tried.

And to highlight how pathetic he is, all Sebastian does is sit by Ciel’s bed again. Trying not to be worried and failing. Since the boy arrived, Sebastian has barely spent a minute not knowing where he is, so it feels unnatural and uncomfortable and like all the stupid pining feelings he’s learned to live with but painfully acute and not even remotely pleasant. 

His mother leaves for her overnight shift at work reluctantly. Sebastian is jealous, because at least she gets to do something besides sit and wait.

He bites his thumb until it starts to bruise, organises the room’s furniture, buries his face in Ciel’s bedding to try and calm himself down. Nothing does much besides make him feel an odd sense of very poorly timed arousal. His body feels like it’s filled with needles, all obsession and warmth. It only increases as the day drags on and the heat rises.

Ciel’s tears against his thumb is still a fresh memory.

He can’t sleep usually anyway, but now it’s from the churning protective fear he feels as the night stretches on and Ciel doesn’t return. The heat is oppressive and dusty and lulls him into eventual restless rest. 

-

He wakes up because Ciel is loud for once. The boy slams the door open and storms into the dark room, and even in the dim light he looks angry, angrier than Sebastian’s ever seen him. His button-up shirt is dirty and dishevelled but he doesn’t match, skin unmarred and smooth and hair only a little out of place. He kicks and pushes at the changing screen until it falls at the foot of Sebastian’s bed with a loud crash.

“I lied, Sebastian, I do care if you hate me. Why do you dislike me so much?”  
Sebastian rubs the blur from his eyes and tries to focus on the very vocal boy. “Ciel. _Ciel._ God, we’ve been so worried about you - ’’  
“That doesn’t matter, I just - ’’ Ciel breaks off in frustration. “Why the fuck do you hate me so much?”

It’s the first time he’s heard Ciel swear. Sebastian reels. “I don’t hate you, Ciel, where have you been?”  
“Why does it matter? I don’t care, I just need to know about you. I thought you genuinely were being nice last night, but no, apparently that’s just too much for you - ”  
“Wait, you don’t care that my mother and I have been fretting and anxious about you all day? When you left without telling us _anything_?”  
“No, obviously I care, but it’s not what I need to discuss with you - ”  
“Then what is? Fuck, you’re 13, Ciel, you’re just a kid - and we’re supposed to look after you - ’’  
Ciel laughs bitterly, runs his hands through his hair, paces some more. “I don’t want to be a kid! I, damn it. I just, can’t I just leave and not have to worry about you for _once_ for the first _freaking_ time in over a month, showing me an ounce of interest?”

Sebastian gets out of bed, stalks over to the boy as his temper burns. Grabs his tiny wrist, holds it up roughly to stop Ciel from his pacing and stomping and to get him to make eye contact.  
“Ciel, for fuck’s sake, I’ve been worried sick all day. Do you really think I dislike you?”  
Even when irate, Ciel is too pretty. He scrunches up his fine features in disdain. “What else would I assume? You barely look at me, and when you do it’s because you have to! You ignore me, you only sleep when I leave the room, what else am I supposed to think?”  
I’m in love with you, Sebastian says, but it comes out as “Look, I don’t hate you!” instead.

That beautiful mouth is bitten and displeased at that response, turned down at the corners. Anger laces every one of Ciel’s tense movements against Sebastian’s tight grip. There is a moment of simmering quiet between them.

 

Then Ciel twists away from Sebastian and breaks down and cries, “Why, then?”

Sebastian breaks down with him, steps forward and kisses him hard.

The boy pulls away almost immediately, confusion written all over his face, and Sebastian is murmuring “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I like you” as he crushes their lips together once more. He swears to himself that this is the last one, he can’t and won’t and shouldn’t do it again, even though as he kisses Ciel he aches to do it again and again and make up for all the times he wanted to but didn’t. Ciel lets out a kind of needy sob and clutches at Sebastian’s shoulders and neck, and Sebastian only knows he isn’t still asleep because none of his dreams have even come close to capturing this. When he gasps away to breathe for a second it’s Ciel that pulls him back in and he forgets about whatever idiotic promise he made to not do it again, because holding Ciel and touching his face and hair and waist is the single most blinding, brilliant thing he’s experienced.

-

Eventually, life has to move again and Ciel regrettably pulls apart and just pants for air. Sebastian grips his little waist with one hand and touches his flushed cheek with the other, their breath stirring the dust and tension in the air until it swirls around them, shot with moonlight. It has started to rain outside, the heat finally caving into thunder and drenching downpour against the window

“I wanted to do that to you every time I saw you. I couldn’t look at you because I was so wretched about it all, Ciel.”  
Ciel looks like he’s going to cry. “Idiot. You’re an idiot.”  
“I love you.” Sebastian doesn’t mean to say it. He distracts the boy before it sinks in by kissing him again, his lips first, then cheek and jaw and neck and Ciel tugs him back until they fall onto his bed. 

There are acres of creamy skin, unmarred and smooth, and it’s just like Sebastian imagined it. Until it isn’t, because everything is real and moving and Ciel’s scent is everywhere and his skin is velvet underneath Sebastian’s mouth and hands. He can barely wait to get the buttons undone on Ciel’s shirt and he’s 80% sure he pops some of them right off in his haste, because Ciel starts giggling against his mouth. Ciel is tugging at Sebastian’s clothing and muttering ‘let me see’ so he pulls off his own shirt and lets Ciel’s hands press against his torso. 

There are too many intricacies for such a little body and Sebastian wants more than anything to spend as long as Ciel will let him exploring petite ribs and painting marks on flawless thighs. Ciel loses patience when Sebastian bites into soft skin above his hip and begs Sebastian in no uncertain terms to hurry up and do something more. The rain isn’t loud enough to drown out fervent moans and cries, and Sebastian is painfully hard just from proximity to Ciel’s underdressed body. As soon as Ciel begins to plead and ask for him, it’s almost enough to push him over the edge.

“In me, Sebastian, do _something_ , please,” Ciel whispers, biting on his fingers and trembling underneath Sebastian’s touch. He’s flushed pink, teary-eyed from arousal, hair mussed and sticking to his damp forehead. Sebastian aches to follow those instructions, a shudder running through his skin. He realises he feels unworthy just to look at Ciel like this, so undone and beautiful, so fragile.

“I can’t, I’ll break you - ’’  
“Do I look like I care?” His voice is positively dripping with impatience, all breathy and mewling. Sebastian can’t think straight when that mouth opens.  
“Do you like being able to walk?”  
“Mm, you could carry me…” Ciel tries to reach for his dick. Sebastian catches his pliant wrist, kisses his fingers, tries to ignore his own groin calling for him to accept that offer in the form of making sure Ciel can barely move tomorrow.  
“How are you not illegal?” Sebastian’s only half joking. Ciel pouts, likely remembering that he actually is, and then decides to divert from that by twisting his hand free and dancing his fingers down Sebastian’s length. The groan Sebastian makes is embarrassingly wanton.

Ciel gets his way. Sebastian is done with being responsible and mature, wants to fuck the boy, and it doesn’t take much from Ciel to convince him to. By the time they get to the point of Sebastian entering with a lubricated finger, Ciel is a tangle of limbs and whining moans. His arms are flung at awkward angles across his face and neck and Sebastian thinks he’s biting into his forearm to stop himself from making too much noise. 

Ciel is tight and warm around his fingers, and when he slips them out to replace them with his dick, Sebastian is so turned on he has to hold himself back from just abandoning reason and snapping his hips forward into the slender, beautiful, wanting body beneath him. He pulls the boy’s arms away from where they curl up amongst slate blue hair to remind himself that it’s not just a body, it’s _Ciel_ , pretty clever Ciel who’s looking up at him with adoration and trust and impatience. One big blue teary eye and a warm smile, teeth biting the bottom lip of it when Sebastian pushes into him.

“Are you okay?” Sebastian breathes, one hand gripping Ciel’s waist and the other on his thigh, searching the only face he cares to remember for signs of discomfort. Ciel opens his mouth to reply, but just whimpers instead, before nodding.  
“Move.” It’s an order, but spoken so softly Sebastian thinks his desperate mind has imagined it. It’s not until Ciel shifts his hips against Sebastian that he realises he’s been given permission, is allowed to thrust into the wet heat that encases him so tightly. And so he does, harsher than he intended, enticed to do it again by Ciel’s sudden keening of swear words and the way he rakes his nails down Sebastian’s shoulders.

He’s taken aback by how quickly it takes for him to be on the edge of orgasm, but it’s hardly a surprise; he’s holding Ciel in his arms and it’s Ciel that’s crying and chanting “Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian” each time he hits the point that makes Ciel’s back arch and his voice ring out. He lifts Ciel into his lap for the final part, so he can kiss at that slight neck and feel the way soft blue-grey hair brushes against his chest every time he lifts Ciel up and pushes him back down on his length. The boy trembles and shakes, and when Sebastian bites down on his collarbone in-between thrusts, Ciel juts his leg out at an odd angle and kicks him. Sebastian can’t tell if it’s due to pleasure or discomfort, so doesn’t risk using teeth again. Ciel seems more than satisfied enough with their clumsy, greedy pace alone, and the way he’s being practically tossed up and down.

The world stutters to a stop for a moment when he comes, his body melting around Ciel. The boy follows after a few slides of a hand. As Sebastian returns to reality and his vision clears, all he can see is his little partner reel off a string of curse words, a trail of saliva dripping down his flushed jaw and a desperate, wanton look directed at Sebastian. 

-

Sebastian wakes up in the early hours of the morning, when the sky has just begun to lighten to a medium-navy and there are still a couple of stars left visibly glowing. His arm is numb; Ciel has rolled over to lie face-down at some point and has cut off the circulation to Sebastian’s limb in the process. He debates just leaving it there, but he really can’t feel anything, and Ciel seems to be deeply asleep. In the process of retracting it, he manages to turn Ciel over onto his side.

It leaves him a little breathless for a second, because Ciel is sleeping very close and facing him, and after countless nights of agonising across the room from the boy he’s now right next to him. And Ciel is _so_ beautiful, black eyelashes casting shadows over high cheekbones, his mussed hair all wavy, pretty pink mouth bitten and kissed. For a split second Sebastian entertains the idea that he’ll go blind just from looking at Ciel’s prettiness, and it doesn’t even seem too far-fetched to his drowsy mind, until he realises that he’s sleep-deprived and coming down from a bunch of sex hormones and probably shouldn’t take anything he thinks too seriously. 

Looking at Ciel’s calm face compels him to recall their first meeting, the cool emotionlessness his expression held when they shook hands. It startles him when he remembers that he thought of Ciel as just an odd kid when they first met. He can’t imagine what was going through his mind, looking at someone so lovely and so brilliant, and not even remotely understanding it. 

Ciel wakes after a moment or two, eyelashes fluttering to reveal a cerulean iris. He looks at Sebastian in confusion and then happiness, a smile breaking out across his delicate lips.

“Ah, good morning. Do you feel okay?”  
Ciel tries to move and winces. “Ouch. Fine other than physically.”  
“I’m sorry,” Sebastian whispers, guilt drenching his emotions. “I got too excited.”  
“Well, I asked for it.” He blinks up at Sebastian. “Next time we’ll do better.”  
“Next time? There’ll be a next time?” Sebastian asks, feeling a kind of disbelief that the boy will bless him _twice_ with such a wonderful thing. Ciel starts to laugh at Sebastian’s incredulity.  
“Yes. Unless you don’t want to?”  
“Oh, god, of course I want to, Ciel. So much. I’d want to do - just about anything if it’s with you.”

Sebastian watches Ciel’s expression go from amused to embarrassed and can’t hold back from kissing him. Ciel doesn’t complain to that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I had fun writing this so I'm not too worried if it's not great, I'm just happy to post :)
> 
> The apple tree they encounter is a clootie tree. I've seen them around where I live in England before and I think they're wonderful, even if the name leaves something to be desired!


End file.
